Systematic Student:
event-BISP

This review is posted as part of Once Upon a Bookcase's Body Image and Self-Perception Month.

Have you ever found yourself rooting for the bad guy? Knowing that the character deserves every bad thing coming his way, but hoping that, somehow, things will work out better in the end? I don't know that I had ever truly experienced that before reading Tenderness by Robert Cormier. I generally prefer (ahem-totally love) reading books where the bad guy totally gets his comeuppance. I'm all about hard-core justice for my villains. Mercy?! *Scoff,* What's that. Don't you know what he's done?!

Reading this book changed that. This is the first time (or at least the only time that comes immediately to mind) where I have truly felt bad for our bad guy. Other times when the bad guy is pitiable or shown mercy, it is because they aren't really all that bad, merely misunderstood. Eric Poole may be misunderstood. That's a distinct possibility. But, there is no denying the fact that he is bad. He's a sociopath. When we meet Eric, he's been in a Juvenile Facility for the last three years for the cold-blooded murder of his mother and step-father. Or course, it was justified because of the 'severe abuse' Eric has been living with, so the state tries him as a juvenile instead of an adult, which means he will be released after he turns 18 and his record will be expunged. No one knows about the three young girls Eric murdered, or so he thinks.

If I had to sum up my thoughts/feelings/idea of this novel in one sentence, it would be revolve around the quote that begins this novel: "To know the pain of too much tenderness" — Kahlil Gibran. One generally equates tenderness with only positive things. It brings to mind images of gentleness, kindness and love. But, what about the idea of too much tenderness? Is that possible? Apparently. Lori and Eric are searching for that tender emotion. Almost every action is driven by this desire to experience tenderness. They are always seeking it, they look for and find it in all the wrong places and they never grasp it for long. It creates intense dysfunctions within each character.

Eric kills young girls to find it and Lori subjects herself to all manner of unwanted and unwelcome sexual advances to feel it. Their paths cross and Lori decides that Eric is the one who can give her what she seeks. She goes with him, knowing that he murdered his mother and step-father (but he was so abused!) and later discovers that the murmurs about Eric killing young girls is also true. But, Eric is tender with her. She loves him. She informs Eric that she will stand by him, ignoring his past and assisting him in the future if he will simply remain tender with her. And how can he refuse that, especially once he begins to care for her, as much as he is capable of caring for anyone.

If we only heard from Lori's perspective, it would be incredibly easy to hate Eric and despise him for the crazed cold-blooded killer he is. But, he isn't, is he? I still don't know. We also hear from Eric. While Eric never demonstrates any remorse for what he's done, he too merely desires a little tenderness in his life. Before his mother remarried, she and Eric had a very close relationship. The man she married and Eric do not get along at all. Eric despises him and he thinks Eric is rather in the way. Eric seeks compassion and tenderness from these girls and finds that the only way he truly feels able to experience it is upon their deaths. However evil that is, I can't hate him for it. He seems genuinely puzzled when the main detective on the case calls him a monster and surprisingly, I found myself agreeing.

By the end of the novel, he seems genuinely concerned for Lori's welfare. He takes care of her, makes her feel special and begins to show her what she has been searching for. And there is no doubt that by the end, he truly cares for her. Although abrupt and a bit jarring, the ending suited the story perfectly. It was tragic, but it was the only way to end the story and be true to each character. I won't spoil it for you, but I will say that I ended up heartbroken for each of our main characters. None of them really received their happy ending.

This is a book that will stay with me for a long time, and one that will influence my thoughts as well. I can't imagine someone with such a low image and perception of themselves that they would be willing to subject themselves to what Lori willingly puts herself through before and after meeting Eric. What would drive an attractive young woman to such lengths and who is to blame for not teaching this girl that she has value all on her own. This is a story that will both warm and break your heart and one that will linger in your thoughts long after you've turned the last page.

I know I haven't been posting about it much, but this review is also a part of Once Upon a Bookcase's Body Image and Self-Perception month. Head on over and check out all the other wonderful reviews available.

In my mind, an eating disorder is the ultimate manifestation of both poor body image, and a distorted self-perception. I graduated with a BS in Psychology last December, and in one of my undergrad classes, we devoted a large percentage of time to discussing eating disorders and where they stem from. Wintergirls by Laurie Halse Anderson is one of the best books I've read this year, and I would say that it is the best book I've ever read that handles eating disorders.

Lia is a young girl who has been suffering from anorexia for several years. She's been hospitalized twice, and the family tries to help keep watch over Lia, and make sure she is eating. They weigh her regularly and prepare meals and 'watch' her eat. But Lia is clever, and she is unable to give up her disorder. She cleverly lines the pockets of the robe she is weighed in with quarters and smears food on a plate before dumping it down the garbage disposal to give the appearance of having eaten. For a long time, Lia feels like she is in control and that losing all this weight makes her powerful. However, after the death of her former best friend, Cassie. Lia's world begins falling apart and she loses control over her life. Toward the end of the novel, she begins to make observations and gains new understanding that gives the reader hope she will overcome her illness.

I think one of the most telling sentences in this book is when Lia really starts to realize what this disease is to her, and where her motivation to starve herself comes from. She keeps obsessive track of her weight, and gives herself goals — I'm 105 lbs? I need to be 100. And on from there. She steps on the scale one day and the number reads 89. Her thoughts, "I could say I'm excited, but that would be a lie. The number doesn't matter. If I got down to 070.00, I'd want 065.00. If I weighed 010.00, I wouldn't be happy until I got down to 005.00. The only number that would ever be enough is 0. Zero pounds, zero life, size zero, double-zero, zero point. Zero in tennis is love. I finally get it. (emphasis added, pg. 220)

I think that there is too much focus placed on the body-image problems facing people who suffer from an eating disorder, and not enough attention given to their warped views of themselves. In one of my undergrad classes, we discussed this at length, and talked about new research being developed that suggests the root causes for many people suffering from eating disorders stem from far more than the desire to be skinny or even the desire to control at least one aspect of their lives. Although both of those play a role in the formation of the disorder, the new research suggests that these eating disorders actually stem more from the desire to disappear. Subconsciously they view themselves as unworthy of love, and that because of their flaws or imperfections, they are not worthy to take up space. So, they are literally trying to starve themselves out of existence. They don't necessarily want to die, but neither do they wish to live. It's scary research, but it's research that makes a frightening amount of sense. That LHA was able to grasp that idea and articulate it so well with just a small paragraph, and a simple sentence speaks volumes to me about her skill as a writer, and her ability to develop believable and realistic characters. Lia just breaks my heart.

One of the most powerful aspects of the novel is also potentially distracting. LHA uses the strike through text to signify the difference between what Lia was thinking and what Lia actually said. Or, it could be what Lia thought vs. what she knew she was supposed to think. Either way, the strike through offers additional insight into the mind of Lia, and enables us as readers to better understand what she's really thinking.

I recommend this book to everyone, even though I know it won't be for everyone. LHA doesn't pull her punches with this one, and I really felt that I was living the life of an anorexic teen along with Lia. And let me tell you, it was not comfortable. It was scary, painful and terrifying. I can only imagine how much worse it would be for someone actually suffering through this. Do yourself a favor and pick up a copy of this book as soon as possible. But I warn you, don't pick it up expecting a light read that will fill a few hours. This novel is gripping, intense and horrifying. It is one of the best books I've read all year and I just can't bring myself to give it anything but my highest rating. It is basically amazing in every way. Way to go Laurie, for creating a book that gives us such a vivid portrait of a young anorexic girl who suddenly understands what it is to live.

This review is also part of Once Upon a Bookcase's Body-Image and Self Perception month. More information is viewable here.

Cynthia Voigt has been one of my favorite authors since I read her Tillerman Saga in elementary school. After those 7 books, I was eager to read more, because that's what you do with an author you love, right?! I read several more of her books before I lost interest in a lot of my old favorites in favor of Mary Higgins Clark and Agatha Christie. Real life drama, trials and pain didn't hold a candle to trying to figure out the mystery before someone else died. However, as I've gotten older, I find myself drawn more and more to those stories I loved when I was younger — stories of people facing terrible obstacles and learning to overcome.

Izzy, willy-nilly by Cynthia Voigt is a novel I skipped over as a kid that I now wish I had not. It was painful, gritty, realistic and honest. How is it all of those things you ask? Because of Izzy (Isobel). Izzy is a great character. Although the book begins with her in the hospital after her car accident, we learn through interactions with other characters and Izzy's own thoughts that before the accident she was a nice, well-liked, intelligent person. She was one of three sophomores on the cheerleading squad and learning Latin, she gets along well with almost everyone and has a lot of friends. So really, she was your average high schooler. Can I just add that I loved that Voigt gave us a genuine person for a cheerleader, and not those flat, stereotypical, petty awful girls most stories seem to portray cheerleaders as?! (Sometimes, a cheerleader is just a normal person too...)

Anyway, back to Izzy. She accepts an offer for a date to a party from a senior she isn't interested in simply because he's a senior, and really, how cool is that?! Turns out, when said senior is over-confident in his driving abilities while under the influence, not so cool at all. Before I get into the real meat of Izzy's struggles, I want to address one more thing — At the party, when she asks her date to take her home (she's conscious of her curfew!) she notices that he's a little bit drunk. Another senior (one she actually has a crush on) offers to take her home. Her date takes issue with that, and, not wanting to seem any lamer than she already does for needing to make it home for curfew, she blows it off as no big deal. She acts like everything will be fine, and leaves with a boy, knowing that he is too drunk to be a safe driver. Turns out — he drove the car into a tree. What bad things have happened to you because you wanted to 'save face' and what bad things have you managed to avoid?

Izzy wakes up in the hospital, broken. They try to stabilize her leg, but as another fever comes on, and the infection spreads, they are forced to amputate her right leg, removing everything just below the knee. A previously active, healthy, lovely young girl is suddenly rendered basically immobile and completely unable to do many of the activities that previously felt completely natural. At first, she doesn't realize just how serious things are. And then, she uses her walker for the first time. Izzy slips into a deep depression she tries desperately to hide from those close to her. Her family tries to be supportive and they are there for her, but they don't know how exactly to treat her. Her mother tries to act as if Izzy will go right back into the life she left behind — all her same friends, all the boys calling, everything. It's hard for Izzy, because she knows that nothing is ever going to be the same again. Already her friends are drifting off. None of them really know how to talk to her anymore, and it's obvious every time they talk to her, or come to see her that they are deeply uncomfortable with the situation, until, for the most part, they just stop coming. Enter Rosamunde. Rosamunde is a girl in Izzy's grade who doesn't seem to care what other people think. She dresses to be comfortable, and speaks exactly what she's thinking. There is very little guess work involved in a conversation with Rosamunde and this comes as a relief to Izzy. Everyone steps lightly around her, careful to avoid any subject that might upset her or make her aware of her new disability. Instead of tiptoeing around, Rosamunde laughs at the line of left shoes, all lined up together in Izzy's closet, missing their mates.

Izzy has never had to struggle with self image before. She really had everything going for her. Popularity, a loving family, an active and healthy body, etc. Right after the accident, she isn't truly capable of dealing with these changes, because anything related to this has always been so far out of her realm of experience. I don't know how Voigt manages it, with this and every other book I've read, but Izzy was so real. Her voice was powerful and authentic. I felt almost voyeuristic watching her suffer at night when no one was around, suffering in silence with all the lights turned off, so no one would suspect she was still awake. Because her suffering was so realistic, it was incredibly empowering to watch as slowly, day by day, she faced awkward situations and learned how to deal with them. Rosamunde was there for her the whole time, sticking around to push, pull and prod her into life again, and sticking around long enough to help her up when she's down.

I don't know how I would handle something as devastating as loosing a limb. It changes every part of your life and is something that never 'goes away.' It's always there, and will always remain a part of you that you need to learn to live with and accept. While I definitely hope that I am never forced to deal with something as traumatic as losing a limb, I hope that I handle it as well as Izzy. It isn't easy for her, and it takes a long time to get there, but Izzy learns how to accept her new life. And, once she stops thinking of herself in terms of 'crippled' she finds that it's easier for others to overlook that as well.

I have some exciting events coming up this month with the blog that I am going to be participating in.

Throughout this month, I will be participating in Once Upon a Bookcase's Body Image and Self-Perception month (BI&SP). I will be reading and reviewing several books relating to body image along with many other great bloggers. The books I have (tentatively) planned for are the Uglies series by Scott Westerfeld, Izzy, Willy-Nilly by Cynthia Voigt, Tenderness by Robert Cormier, and Wintergirls by Laurie Halse Anderson.

Have any ideas for books that would be a great addition?! Let me know! It would be great to have as much support and participation on this topic as possible. If you have recently read a book that you think applies to this topic or have any planned to be read soon, sigh up with us! If you don't have a blog, or don't want to commit to a complete sign up, send me a message, and I'll include your review on my blog as a guest post!

I believe that this is a very important topic that is too often ignored. It gets a lot of lip service, but not a lot of action. Lets all do something this month to shed more light, attention and action on this topic. Go out and tell someone that you love them, and remember that you are who you are, and you are wonderful that way. Never let anyone tell you that the way you look is wrong.

From July 12-14, I'm also going to be participating in the Once Upon a Reading Challenge. You can check it out at Pure Imagination, Candace's Reading Blog or Reading Angel. Sign ups begin tomorrow, July 5th! It's a great excuse to just sit back and read for a while. They are hoping to have a lot of participants, and it should be a lot of fun. They have some great prize packs planned as well, so head on over a join with me, and tell all your friends!